When Moving Day Arrives
Decisions have been made, and lines have been drawn. Suddenly, you’ve found yourself surrounded by your whole life, packed up in boxes. You’re standing in the middle of all the memories and reminders of your life together and feel your stomach drop. While this is a tough day, remember that moving day is also the beginning of your fresh start.
Moving Day Survival Guide
Make the process as easy as possible with this guide to surviving moving day.
Splitting Belongings
This can be a tricky area for both of you. Fighting over your stuff causes arguments, animosity and sometimes legal recourse. Before you call your lawyer about that food processor you’ve never used, ask yourself if it’s worth the energy and time. It could be that you are unknowingly demanding something out of spite. These disputes are not over the item itself, but due to an irrational desire to hurt one another. All of that takes a huge emotional toll.
You may also want to hide away little mementos that could serve as triggers – or get rid of them if you’re confident you’ll never want to see them again. These items could be photos, knick knacks, souvenirs from your honeymoon in Maui. You can look at these later to decide what you want to keep. Some things you may opt not to bring into your fresh start at all. Sell! Donate! Ditch!
Decide How You Want To Do It
Regardless of who is moving, you’ll need to decide the best course of action. Would it be easier to move out when your soon-to-be Ex is at work? Would it be beneficial for you both to be there, to make sure certain boxes are going with the right person? Maybe you’d prefer not to do any of it. You could send your best friend to get all of your stuff or hire movers.
Communicate with one another – even if it hurts. “I’ll be there on Saturday to get my things. Please make plans to be out of the house from 9:00am – 11:00am” would do the trick. Civil, emotionless and straight to the point.
Closing On Your House
Emotionally
Whether you both move, your Ex moves and you stay, or you move and your Ex stays, you’re going to need some closure. Closure from the history of your home together. Closure from the stories that house could tell. Your new story starts now.
If You Both Move
Take a moment to say goodbye to the house. Cry, celebrate, laugh, whatever you need to do to create an ending for yourself. If this is too difficult, be proactive in finding routes that don’t take you by it. Drive away from the house and towards your new adventure.
If Your Ex Moves and You Stay
First thing: rearrange the furniture – or get new stuff! Not everything, but just a few things that make it seem like a different place. Make the home you once shared into your own. Redecorate, paint, give it a good deep cleaning, get the GIRLIEST BEDSPREAD EVER. Give your home a new identity to kick your healing process into gear and get your heart out of the past. You never have to look at that old ratty recliner again!
If You Move and Your Ex Stays
Remind yourself that you are getting a fresh start. This is the first step for your healing to begin. A change of address can bring many different emotions with it, so give it a chance and find things to love in your new home. Make it yours. Focus on the good until your head and heart agree that this is where you need to be right now.
Look Forward To Your Recovery
You’re creating a positive environment for yourself, removing reminders of your Ex that could sabotage your process. You will now have a safe place to experience all of the feelings that come with divorce so you can move through them and on with your life.
Accept the past, and get excited for your future. Reinvent yourself. The feelings on moving day can be intense and overwhelming. Keep your interaction minimal and practical – avoiding confrontation. Remember to keep breathing. Prioritize letting go and try and stay level headed through it all. Embrace your fresh start and take pride in moving on, nothing worthwhile is ever easy, but you’re worth it.
Throw Yourself a Housewarming Party
One of the best ways to embrace your house as your own, regardless of whether you move or he does (or both), is to throw yourself a divorce housewarming party. Welcome to your new home!