Missing out or Gaining Perspective?

To my goddaughter,

You should be at your prom tonight as a senior, but instead, you are in quarantine with your family where you have been for over a month now. I’m sad for your loss, the absent events and memories that you were supposed to be creating tonight. It’s as if someone pushed the PAUSE button on life. This “pause” is also known as a major life transition.

But there’s something quite fascinating about a life transition. They are here for a reason; they make you grow. If you allow the transition to go through you, this can be an opportunity for vast expansion.

Remember two months ago when we thought we were in control? As you are witnessing right now, things can change on a dime, and all we can control is how we react to the situation.

I bet you’re crystal clear on the first things you plan to do when the quarantine is lifted. There will be parties to attend, friends to see and memories to be made. Life will be different but the difference is, NOW you have gained perspective. You will appreciate more, and I hope that this global shake-up will cause you to dream BIGGER than ever with absolutely no limitations.

I want you to look at your life as a unique recipe, and the key ingredients are made up of the sweetness of joy, the bitterness of disappointment and the sourness of pain. The pain and hardships make up the lumps in the batter. The pandemic that caused you to miss your prom is one of the lumps that you would like to extract out of the mix. By doing so, you would be removing a leavening agent, a key ingredient. Without it, the batter will not rise or expand. So if you were to remove or ignore the harshness of life, you would not rise to your full potential and your unique recipe would not be fulfilled.

Because I have some years behind my belt, I can tell you that there were times when I wanted to beat the lumps out of my batter, but if I had removed the clumps of loss and heartache, then I would have missed out on an opportunity. As a result of embracing my story with both the bitterness of disappointment and the sweetness of joy, I came to understand my purpose, my values and my unique contribution to this world.

Each and every one of us makes up a divine recipe with a story to tell. And right now, amid a pandemic, your story is being crafted. Your story is the master recipe and the key ingredients are your gifts waiting to be discovered and shared.

There are no two recipes that are the same, but it requires deep introspection to fully understand why your story has been tailor-made just for you. It’s designed for you to become the best version of yourself.

As a coach, I’m passionate about helping people discover their divine recipe. I do this by helping a person shift perspective. Many of us do not like the ingredients that make up our life recipe, but once we understand why certain ingredients are present, we can reach a place of clarity. We can then understand our unique contribution to this world.

I have lived the perfect life to do the work that I do. There’s no way I could help women heal from the pain of divorce without first recognizing my life ingredients as “perfect.”

Published with permission from Divorce Coach, India Kern (www.indiakern.com)

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