So today is my Ex-husbands wedding day. I know for most of you this would be a very difficult day. We have been divorced for 4 years and separated for five. I oddly don’t feel a thing. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m finally in a good space emotionally, but it did take 4 years to get here. I want to share a letter I sent to his future wife and while we may never be best friends, nor would I want to be, I wanted to honor her and their relationship and her as my children’s step mom. Despite whether I initiated the divorce or he did, I won’t even tell you, I just want to share this as a healing moment so that maybe you can get to this moment yourself if it should ever happen to you. I think acknowledging that you weren’t the right fit for your Ex and showing gratitude and empathy for his new wife despite your differences can be very healing and a great moment of “letting go” and “taking the higher road”. My Ex and I aren’t “friends” and we still have our share of ups and downs, but this is something I did for myself, for my children, for him and for his new wife and as a result, I feel I’ve done my part and I don’t expect anything in return.
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Woman to woman, ex-wife to new wife, mom to step mom. I wanted to send you a message of gratitude and empathy.
Gratitude in taking on teenagers and being involved with love and support, regardless of how they behave towards you. Thank you.
Empathy in all the challenges that you have faced and for the ones to come in being a step parent.
Gratitude in meeting him and falling in love and being the person that I wasn’t able to be for him. Thank you.
Empathy in any challenges you two have faced in the past and may face in the future.
Congratulations on your wedding and future life together. I am truly happy for you both. I wish you nothing but the best.
Enjoy your special day and thank you for putting my children in the center of it.
If you’re ever ready to hang out for a coffee/tea or cocktail with just me, know there is an open invitation.
Hoping we can always work together as co-parents and women helping women with mutual love and respect for one another.
Safe travels and have an amazing honeymoon.