I love lists. If I don’t write something down, I won’t remember to do it. Maybe that depletes my ability to recall things from memory but it sure helps me to get things done. When my divorce process started it was really useful for me to make a list of all the logistical things I needed to take care of. This was my personal list but you might find it useful for yourself through your process. Prior to telling your spouse/partner or as soon as your spouse/partner tells you it’s over: Open solo bank account Get your own credit card Find/consult with a mediator/lawyer and file for divorce/separation Tally up all assets / gather all documents (tax returns, house title, financial statements, w-9’s, car value, furniture value, personal items value like jewlery, etc.) Tally up all monthly expenses (utility bills, credit card statements, mortgage, insurance, gas, groceries, activities, kids’ activities, etc.) Therapy: set up therapist for yourself Online research: Use the internet for research/support If not working: Start taking classes/save money/find extra paid work or a job If working: save extra money, find extra work Exercise/journal/meditate While you’re going through the process: MSA (marriage settlement agreement) – write it up then get second opinion Living Trust and Will – dissolve joint trust and create solo one House: Once house is decided, get off title or get him off title Housing: Look for new housing or have him look for new housing Bank Accounts and Credit Cards: Separate all joint accounts and open solo accounts Financial Advisor/Retirement Accounts: Update Financial advisor/retirement/stock accounts CPA: Contact CPA for tax filing Auto Bill Pay: Update auto pay and address on all accounts Name change: Update name on all accounts (DMV/Social security) if you are taking over an account or if he’s taking over an account Auto: Update title on car/change ownership/insurance/registration/driver license Home Owner’s Insurance: Update home owners insurance Jewelry Insurance – take over or sell ring and cancel Health insurance – get on Cobra or find new solo plan Dental/vision insurance – get on Cobra or find new solo plan Life insurance – take over payment/get on solo plan Long term care insurance – take over payment/get on solo plan Cell phone – get on own plan Change of address – make a list and update all change of address (bills, assets, friends, family, providers, etc.) Notify people: Select good day/time (not around a birthday or holiday) to tell the kids together, then family and then friends. Notify kids teachers Therapy: Set up therapy for kids And there you have it. Please let us know if you have any items to share to this list that I am forgetting so we can help each other out.