Decisions have been made and lines have been drawn. Suddenly, you’ve found yourself surrounded by your whole life, packed up in boxes. In the middle of all the memories and reminders of your life together, this awful feeling can be considered a fresh start. Moving Day doesn’t have to be all bad.
Make the process as easy as possible with this guide to surviving moving day.
- Splitting Belongings
This can be a tricky area for both of you. Fighting over your stuff causes arguments, animosity and sometimes legal recourse. Before you call your lawyer about that food processor you got as a wedding gift, ask yourself if it’s worth the energy and time. It could be that you are unknowingly demanding something out of spite. The emotional toll these disputes take on you is often not over the item itself, but due to an irrational desire to hurt one another. You will also have to part with little mementos that could serve as triggers. These items could be photos, knick knacks, souvenirs from your honeymoon in Maui. They will do nothing but sit in a box in your new life, tempting you to open it and relive this difficult time in your life. Better to not bring it into your fresh start at all. Sell! Donate! Ditch!
- Decide How You Want To Do It
Regardless of who is moving, you’ll need to decide the best course of action. Would it be easier to move out when your soon-to-be Ex is at work? Would it be beneficial for you both to be there, to make sure certain boxes are going with the right person? Maybe you’d prefer not to do any of it. You could send your best friend to get all of your stuff.
Communicate this to one another – even if it hurts. “I’ll be there on Saturday to get my things. Please make plans to be out of the house from 9:00am – 11:00am” would do the trick. Civil, emotionless and straight to the point.
- Closing On Your House – EmotionallyWhether you both move, your Ex moves and you stay, or you move and your Ex stays, you’re going to need some closure. Closure from the history of your home together. Closure from the story that house could tell. Your new story starts now and you can’t let that house run your life.You Both Move: Take a moment to say goodbye to the house. Cry, celebrate, laugh, whatever you need to do to create an ending for yourself. If this is too difficult, be proactive in finding routes that don’t take you by it. Drive away from the house and towards your new adventure.Your Ex Moves and You Stay: First thing – Rearrange the furniture. Whatever furniture is left, of course. Get new furniture! Make the home you once shared into your own. Redecorate, give it a good deep cleaning, get the GIRLIEST BEDSPREAD EVER. Give your home a new identity to kick your healing process into gear and get your heart out of the past. Staring at that old ratty recliner you had to get (against your will) is the last thing you need to be doing.You Move and Your Ex Stays: Remind yourself that you are getting a fresh start. This is the first step for your healing to begin. A change of address can bring many different emotions with it, so give yourself a fighting chance and find things to love in your new home. Make it yours. Focus on the good until your head and heart agree that this is where you need to be right now. (We have lots of suggestions for places to buy new things in Stuff We Like section)
- Look Forward To Your RecoveryYou’re creating a positive environment for yourself, lacking any past memories of your Ex that could sabotage your process. You will now have a safe place to experience all of the feelings that come with divorce without the possibility of triggers (because you got rid of them, remember?). Accept the past, get excited for your future. Reinvent yourself.The feelings on move out day can be intense and overwhelming. Keep your interaction minimal and practical – avoiding emotional triggers. Prioritize letting go and try and stay level headed through it all. Embrace your fresh start and take pride in moving on, nothing worthwhile is ever easy, but you’re worth it.