Divorce Emotions: Riding the Roller Coaster in the Early Stages

roller coaster

Dealing with Divorce Emotions

Regardless of whether we chose divorce or not, every day – sometimes every moment – brings different emotions, especially early on.  You may swing between a giddy sense of seeing new doors open and the anger, fear, and sense of loss for what has ended.   All the ups and downs of divorce emotions can make you literally sick to your stomach.

It can be difficult to navigate familiar situations (social, organizational, administrative) with this newly-single identity. These patterns were established, and now you are doing them alone: maybe it’s seeing married couple friends or arranging playdates for your kids or going to your favorite pizza place.  Everything is the same yet completely different.

The role of wife, which had become familiar and may have offered a sense of security, is now gone.  It can be disorienting. At some point, you appreciate – and hopefully enjoy – being single.  Right now, however, it’s hard to lose that identity and the many forms of security that often accompany a marriage.

Over the next few months you will be dealing with lots of different divorce emotions, many conflicting. Like nearly all difficult situations, you need time to process, re-balance, and create new routines and habits. Once the initial turmoil has passed, the roller coaster will slow down – and eventually, you won’t even get on it.

Friends and Other Support Help Us Face These Divorce Emotions

Everything that you work through emotionally will help you in the future.  Remember to reach out to your friends and loved ones. Accepting help sometimes feels like a weakness or an indulgence. If you can lean on your community, however, you will find many people who want nothing more than to help you through this tough time.  No matter how self-sufficient you are, it’s important to get support – and to let people know how they can support you.

Know that you are not on your own.  Everyone deals with these divorce emotions, and Chapter 2 Club is here to help. Sign up for our newsletter – and join us on Facebook!

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